Tag Archives: beauty

Hands

I attended by best friends’ wedding this week, and I couldn’t help but notice how different my stubby, scarred blacksmith hands look compared to those of most other young women. So I did what I do, and wrote a poem about it:

too long it’s been for me to change these hands
my fingers curl, my fist here ready stands
were I a girl, I’d have less blemished skin
stretched over knuckles rough like battered sands

at least, that’s what the universe here cries
when peering down my forearms with its eyes
the scars and burns stand proud despite its glare
each cicatrix a story here describes

it’s tempting, still, to heed the sacred lie
that states I am what I look like and buy
defiant cries from surface, screen, and air
once muddled, focus, then my strength belie

“the outside can be changed,” the TV calls
the ads flash bright, the colored screen enthralls
and I look down, the difference too stark
my skin more marred beside these whitewashed walls

disarming, how a sight can make you see
both forest and the lonesome standing tree
and I, that tree, think sometimes that to stand
alone is worse than leaving all of me

and yet, return from that most dangerous thought
is brought by comfort and with sunlight bought
the golden rays pass hands in great exchange
bring color to my arms, til they burn hot

my fingers can now hold the very fire
that runs beneath my veins in friendly ire
and pick up steel turned orange by the forge
that formed my scars, did every burn inspire

refusal to give in to what they say
has led to holding fire in this way
for with each mark the sunlight here cements
a hold upon my hands and heart each day

each morning I look up to see the sky
hands raised in praise, no though of asking why
no blemishes, no failures mar my skin
each scar is beauty – beauty found within

M.
Jun 26/17

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Just Friends

[Inspired by Disney’s Beauty and the Beast]

I watch you,
ten rows down at
two-and-a-half-feet a row
Space
enough for friendship

Courting indifference
– uncertainty, adventure,
due diligence, rebellion –
whatever sugar we’re coating it in
these days
I feel lost in a world where
blue and gold
turn grey

Just friends
until somebody takes a chance
like I did
bending to a plucked rose,
still yellow
but fraying red

Torn between
thoughts and feelings
– neither being rational –
but pretending, all the same
that the mess makes
some sort of
Sense

Senselessness,
as in, unfeeling
pricked by a thorn
outward perceptions and
melodramatic music, TV shows,
movies you care nothing for
and beauty found
in people
smaller than their
circumstances

I am smaller, too
than I ought to be
Uncertain
of that same space,
frozen, locked away

And all I want
is to turn the key
poised precariously
ashen lock – torn, yellow curtain
longing
for freedom

M.
Mar 18/17
Picture: mild steel hibiscus blossom

Similarities

Sometimes I draw strange conclusions between what actually happens and what I perceive. I will think that one is like the other, and then, when I think back, I’ll realize that I was wrong. We all do this sometimes. We hope against hope and get our expectations up – and then, when it all comes to an end – there is a strange discrepancy between thought and action, between beginnings and endings that spin around inside our heads….

Similarities

I draw similarities with my words
Of people, who aspire to lesser things
Of people, who aspire to catalogue the world
in an eternal heartbeat

And after the perfect day
When backlit museum pieces
frame the moonlit night
I wander among the spits of timbers
Cedar carcasses – rent apart – a stage
And hear you whisper into the wind

“I don’t care,” is what I hear you say
It hurts – when I, so foolish
decided you meant to love me
When you – honest man – burnt-wish Templar
decided I meant no harm
No harm at all

“No harm” – these words are akin to existing
in unspecified drones, weak hopes
hollow spaces, hollow minds
and homes without faces in the rain-washed windows

I hope
I hope – the candlelit moonlight speaks
I hope – it wills a dream inside my mind
I hope – it tells me whispers
And shows me little similarities
between the perfection I perceive
and stark – beautiful – intriguing reality

M.
Aug 26/15